Cristián Domínguez


Hi! Do you know Dory’s lost brother Cristián Domínguez? He’s been lost for 14 years. He’s been lost to writing and books. It’s been 14 years that any of us have seen him. He was born and raised in Austin, TX having Dory and 6 other siblings. Cristian is here, but can you really do me a favor? Put Cristian back at the aquarium. In the near future, Cristián would attend St. Stephens’ aquarium, and in the future, he would like to attend, for his college life, UT McComb School’s aquarium, and Harvard’s aquarium. Cristián has been working hard, on November, he received a letter from United Way Austin’s CEO thanking him for his hard work helping them for 2 years making him family. He also received a message the day before his birthday from former president Barack Obama. Please vote for Cristián when he runs for president on 2036, he will be the first fish president! 

Our Chicano Movements


I am part of the Chicano community. We aren’t ‘bout that thug life, nun ‘bout that shit. Working hard for our parents is our thing. You can’t blame us for anything. 

Trying to make it alive is also our thing. Not even Geico could save us 15%! Trying to make it alive, yo, you get it.

We aren’t ‘bout that thug life, nun ‘bout that shit. We trying to make those A+, but trying to have fun.

You won’t roast us any better, we were roasted in our childhood. Mexicans moms would tell us, “¡Ya ves! ¡Por pendejo!” Don’t you worry; she won’t use that chanla like she used it to us.

We aren’t ‘bout that thug life, but neither is StateFarm.

You better eat your taco de pastor before we get mad. ¡Y, no, no sabemos el español!

Remember to reserve 40 tickets for us! All our tios, tias, hermanas, hermonos, abuelo, abuela, mama, papa, primos y primas would be there!

Luego, no chinges, don’t you cry. We aren’t ‘bout that sad life porque luego vamos a tener una pinche problema. We are supposed to work hard if not nosotros son chingados con el pinche palo.

Y todavia, you can still have all those Mexicans memes stored up on your phone to try to use it against us. It won’t be any better, we were roasted before. Our moms would usually say el Cucuy viene a la cocina en la noche. Don’t be dumb, don’t jump or anything. She will tell you, “¿Hijo de tu pinche madre, vives en la calles? ¡No más quíeres tragar!” We can even roast yur ass if you insist.

We aren’t the only ones wanting to eat taco de pastor. Our moms would go to Zumba, and say they are on a “diet.” A few hours later, they are caught ordering 5 taco de pastor!

But we are a very welcoming community! If you ever really want to join, you will have to go through multiple tests to see if you can be with us! Just be warned, you will be roasted, but roasted until your ass burns.

We will give you the carne asada, just don’t tell our moms and dads! They will be mad at us because they spend their money on expensive food. We are here for everybody, just trying to make it alive nowadays!

© The Acentos Review 2017