Pepe García Gilling


We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Badges Remake


Pepe García Gilling is a Mexican filmmaker and writer who has an MFA in Creative Writing and is a candidate for the MAIS in Mexican American Studies at UT Rio Grande Valley, where he currently teaches Intro to Mexican American Studies. Before moving to the U.S., he worked in the film industry in Monterrey, México, while also being a member of the Monterrey International Film Festival. In the Rio Grande Valley, he is currently Chair of the South Texas International Film Festival. The two short films he’s written and directed have been featured at several film festivals around the world. Although he’s been writing screenplays since then, it was until he began his MFA that he began to write poetry, non-fiction and essays. His films and writing focus mostly on the Latinx experience, and his research centers on the misrepresentation (and lack thereof) of Latinxs in U.S. films, more specifically Hollywood.


Passport? We ain’t got no passport.

We don’t need no passports

I don’t have to show you any stinking passports

Gold Hat doesn’t say passport.

Gold Hat says badges.

Maybe Alfonso Bedoya took the role

Because of the screens America stole

It wasn’t only Bogart searching for

Gold in the Sierra Madre

American producers hunted

Treasure in Mexican

Gold(en Age) sierras



Camera shot of an

Immigrant shot for trespassing into

A White man’s lot.

So what does

Hollywood want us to see?

I guess Brown is also chroma key.

Question: This land of the free,

How does it show Mexicans on screen?

Answer: does it?



To properly wash your film

Do your laundry in White

For Zapata, make the skin light

Marlon Brando seems right

Get Natalie Wood to say buenas noches

In West side stories, love wins

For the role of Anglo Zorro

Get Anthony Hopkins

Supply Pacino with a machine gun

Violent Latinos are always fun

Or so says the NRA.

Cause who’s to say

Latinas are more than just a maid?

Lupe Ontiveros played over a hundred of ’em

Don’t worry, she got paid.

H’bout that gangbanger, Hector?

What movie was he in?

Oh, yeah. That’s right.

It was Noel Gugliemi in all of them.



Two men sit behind a table. Our hero, Salma, walks in.

“Hi, my name is Salma.”

“Hi, Selma, what part are you auditioning for?”

“Naturally for

                      the maid

                      the hot Latina

                      the prostitute

                      the spit-fire lady

                      the immigrant mother.”

“The role is yours.”

“Hi, my name is Gael.”

“Hi, Gale, what part are you auditioning for?”

“Naturally for

                      the gangbanger

                      the gardener

                      the fieldworker

                      the immigrant

                      the drug lord

                      the lazy Mexican.”

“The role is yours.”


The casting director whispers to the producer:

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best”

Yeah… Cuarón, Iñárritu and Del Toro

Are losers

Cause they don’t

Make films of

Violent bandits grabbing

Hypersexualized mamacitas

by the pussy.



All we got is

Burning Brown-made celluloid

Sparked with spit-fire

Chingona dialogue of

Fuck your Gold and palms

My heroes reduced to

Comic-relief ant men

Fire ant men

Get your extreme close up

of scene 3A, take two

many times

we’ll cross the border

of the frame

so track your shot

and zoom in on my badge:



© The Acentos Review 2020